Celebrating Festivals Online

IT Shaayari

Kal jab mile thhe....

to dil mein hua ek sound.

Aur aaj mile to kehte hain...

your file not found!

Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,

woh repeat kar doonga...

Tu naa mili to apni zindagi

ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...

Shayad mere pyar ko

taste karna bhool gaye...

Dil sey aisa cut kiya ke

paste karna bhool gaye...

Laakhon honge nigaah mein

kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...

Mere pyaar ke icon pe

kabhi to double-click karo...

Roz subha hum karte hain

pyar se unhe good morning...

Woh aise ghoor ke dekhti hain

jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...

Aisa bhi nahin hai ke

I don't like your face.

Par dil ke storage mein

No more disk space.

Ghar se jab tum nikale

pehen ke reshmi gown.

Jaane kitne dilon ka

ho gaya Server down.

Who's Who of Indian Mythology

Brahma ... Systems Installation

Vishnu ... Systems Administration & Support

Lakshmi ... Finance and Accounts Consultant

Saraswati ...Training and Knowledge Management

Shiva ... DBA (Crash Specialist)

Ganesh ... Quality Assurance & Documentation

Narada ... Data transfer

Yama ... Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant

Chitragupta ... IDP & Personal Records

Apsaras. ... Downloadable Viruses

Devas ... Mainframe Programmers

Surya ... Solaris Administrator

Rakshasas ... In house Hackers

Ravana ... Internet Explorer WWWF

Kumbhakarna ... Zombie Process

Lakshman ... Support Software and Backup

Hanuman ... Linux/s390

Vaali ... MS Windows

Sugreeva ... DOS

Jatayu ... Firewall

Dronacharya ... System Programmer

Vishwamitra ... Sr. Manager (Projects)

Shakuni ...Annual appraisal & Promotion

Valmiki ...Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)

Krishna ... SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )

Dharmaraj Yudhishthira ...ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)

Arjun ... Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)

Abhimanyu ... Trainee Programmer

Draupadi ...Motivation & Team building

Bhima ...Mainframe Legacy System

Duryodhana ... Microsoft product Written in VB

Karna ... Contract programmer

Dhritarashtra ... Visual C++

Gandhari ... Dreamweaver

100 Kauravas ... Microsoft Service Packs and patches

Customer Support - Program Upgradation

A customer wrote the following mail to Microsoft Technical Support Group.

26 May 2004 06:07 am #37

Dear Microsoft Technical Support,

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.

With regards,

Contd.. Anonymous

Microsoft Technical Support Reply:

26 May 2004 06:10 am #38

THE REPLY: - This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. ! Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.

Thank you for using the program!!