Life and Death

Last night my mom and I were sitting in the living room talking about the many things of life. In between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

I said to her: ' Mom, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die'.

Then my mom got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me...and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the Ipod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!

....I ALMOST DIED!!!'

Medical Jargon

Once upon a time, a Sardar applied to Medical School.
Needless to say, he never made it... do you wanna know why ????

These are the answers he gave ...

ANTIBODY - against everyone
ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of playing cards
CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
CHRONIC - neck of a crow
COMA - punctuation mark
DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
DILATE - the late British princess
GALLBLADDER - bladder in a girl
GENES - blue denim
HERNIA - she is close by
HYMEN - greeting to several males
IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
LABOR PAIN - hurt at work
LACTOSE - person without digits on the foot
LIPOSUCTION - a French kiss
LYMPH - walk unsteadily
MICROBES - small dressing gowns
OBESITY - city of Obe
SECRETION - hiding anything
TABLET - small table
ULTRASOUND - radical noise